Today has been a real roller coaster.
The kids had their luciatåg after school, and they did amazingly. I felt so proud and uplifted by the whole thing, and at the same time it was rather melancholic in a way, since it was my last day. I will return to the school during the hols and work at least four more days, but it’ll only be with one of the students that I’ve had these past few weeks, and a few of the younger ones. Which means, I don’t even know if I’ll see any of the other kids again. And they’re really amazing kids. I can’t even begin to try putting into words how rewarding this gig has been. Exhausting and heartbreaking at times, but so incredibly inspiring at the same time.
The parents gave the personnel a potted flower each, me as well. Unfortunately, mine was snapped off by a strong gust of wind as I was hurrying to the bus. I brought it all over town with me anyway, because it looks like there might be another flower on the way (unless I kill it first… all my plants die…) and one of the kids brought me a present as well (it was four home-made biscuits/sweets) with a handwritten note that said: “Happy holidays Ida. Hugs” and it made my heart swell. The note especially and the fact that he’d written it, since he finds reading and writing to be quite difficult. I’ll definitely be keeping the note.
I rushed from the after luciatåg coffee to FilmCentrum where an event called “Respons” was being held. I was going to show “Varma Mackor” as a work in progress, last on the agenda, but I really wanted to make it there earlier because Anja was showing some footage from her documentary and I really wanted to see it, I haven’t seen any of the stuff she’s filmed. It was really great, the clips she showed. Lots of genuine moments, awesome details, fun dynamics. It stirred up a lot of thoughts and feelings, but more than anything, curiosity. I look forward to seeing more. The event itself wasn’t really my kind of thing, I found the energy quite low and stifling, but there was a couple of interesting people who gave some sensible feedback. During the break I checked my email on my phone and discovered that “Varma Mackor” didn’t get into Gothenburg. So I didn’t really feel up to showing it, but I’m glad I did. As disheartened as I (still) feel about not having my film shown at the biggest film festival in Sweden, just watching the film, and the amazing actors in it, makes me happy.
Anja and I talked a bit afterwards, but not a lot. It was late and I have to be up early again tomorrow, even though I’m not working, well not as a substitute teacher anyway, I’m filming the pilot/teaser for “Bindande”, i.e. I’m acting all day and night. And I have mixed feelings about that as well, but I’ll save that story for another day. Decaf coffee and some feelgood “Dirty Dancing” montage now, then bed.