On the cusp of a Low
I’ve been running overdrive, as usual, something that I foolishly consider my thing and since I have about twice as much energy as most people around me, it’s easy to fool oneself that one is invincible sometimes — and maybe I can handle two feature length screenplays and one short, one theatre monologue project, while also writing a play, having one short film in post-production and one in pre-production, two book projects, one art project, one art book project and being involved in three other projects by different people — but the problem is I also have three jobs, and I’m two heartbeats away from a fullblown depression (having had symptoms for a month and a half now… I’m bipolar, so it comes and goes.)
For the past week my eyes have been all weird, I looked it up, it’s a stress symptom. Now, I really can’t afford to hit the wall… so I called in sick this weekend. But I’m worried that any precaution I take now (exercise, reading, fucking yoga, whatever) isn’t going to work because I’ll be stressed about preventing stress…
On a positive note: My short film “Lillstrumpa & Systerdyster” has already been selected to three festivals!